Motherhood on your own terms. Give yourself right to it!

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but it’s also filled with challenges and moments of self-doubt. With society’s pressure for perfection, many moms feel they fall short, leading to guilt and stress. Yet, there’s strength in showing ourselves kindness and being confident about our way of being a mom, not acting like a mom in society’s play.

The pressure of being the perfect mother

As moms, we face big pressure to be perfect. From keeping a tidy house to making healthy meals and being super patient with our kids, it can be a lot. Social media doesn’t help, showing us these “perfect” moms who seem to have it all. But let’s remember, that perfection isn’t real and nobody has all the answers.

Striving for perfection can mess with our heads. It makes us feel like we’re never good enough and can leave us feeling super stressed out and exhausted. Plus, it can make it hard to truly connect with our kids because we’re so worried about everything being perfect. But we’re supposed to be the moms we want to be, not the moms’ society says we should be. 

To figure out what kind of mom we want to be and embrace inner trust, women need to start with self-forgiveness.

The other thing is to redefine what it means to be perfect. In my world, it means being aware that things went wrong and having the capacity and courage to look at disaster with the intention of addressing it in a compassionate and humble way.

Where does this pressure come from?

When you enter motherhood, it’s like your soul is meeting with a space that you’ve heard about in your culture. You’ve seen other people embrace motherhood, starting with your family of origin and observing the moms of your friends and family members. 

When you become a mom, you are standing against society, cultural norms and beliefs, and dynamics in your family of origin. Suddenly, there you are, on your own journey, and your experiences may be completely different from what you signed up for or what you observed. That can be overwhelming. 

These contrasts usually create internal conflict, resulting in a negative impact on your mental health. When you enter motherhood, it’s like a new part of your personality is forming, and that can create internal conflict between what the world expects from you and your own feelings and experiences. 
Please take a deep breath and now breathe out… Of course, there is a way to deal with that, and this way can be joyful, playful, and healing. Where to start? With self-forgiveness.

Motherhood and self-forgiveness

The journey to self-forgiveness begins with accepting ourselves exactly as we are, flaws and all. It’s about letting go of the need to be perfect and embracing our humanity, with all its imperfections.

Self-forgiveness is the process of looking back at the events that happened in your life, showing understanding and love for the person you used to be, and making those choices. 

Even though it may be hard to believe now, at the time when it was happening, you did the best you could. 

To free yourself from feeling guilty, ashamed, or hating a part of yourself for something you’ve done, you need to embrace this aspect of your personality with compassionate understanding and healing.

Practical tips for cultivating self-forgiveness

– Practice mindfulness: Take a few moments each day to check in with yourself, and notice your thoughts and emotions without judgement.

– Challenge negative self-talk: Replace self-critical thoughts with kind and supportive affirmations. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend.

– Seek support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer encouragement and validation.

So you know that being a mom is not about being perfect; it’s about showing up as our authentic selves and loving our children unconditionally. By embracing imperfection and practising self-forgiveness, we can find greater joy and fulfilment in the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

 Where to seek support?

You’re not alone on your motherhood journey. It is good to find resources to work on your confidence as a mom and a space where you can speak freely about your challenges, where you can be seen and heard. This could be through therapy, psychology consultations, or, if you want to connect with women experiencing similar energy and problems while also receiving psychotherapist support simultaneously, you can consider group support.

I invite you to participate in support programmes that will empower you! Ready to get off the guilt and embrace the joy of motherhood? Join my WOMANHOOD. Grow & Glow 4-week programme. Get expert guidance and connect with other moms, receive daily support in the private group chat and receive my guidance in weekly Zoom meetings and between them.

Click here to learn more about the ‘WOMANHOOD. Grow & Glow’ programme and see if it’s the right fit for you!